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QUESTIONS THAT I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR

1. PLAY SOMETHING GOOD…SOMETHING WE CAN DANCE TO!
The DJ has to play for more than one person…so what you hate may be another’s favorite song and EVERYTHING played here can be danced to one way or another.

2. WOULD YOU PLAY SOMETHING WITH A “BEAT”
BE SERIOUS! We know of NO songs played in a club that don’t have some sort of BEAT!

3. I DON’T KNOW WHO SINGS IT AND I DON’T KNOW THE NAME OF THE SONG, BUT IT GOES LIKE THIS….
PLEASE don’t sing for the DJ. They have to put up with smoke filled rooms and dangerous decibel levels all night long…Do them a favor and DON’T give them a rendition of your favorite song.

4. EVERYBODY WANTS TO HEAR IT!
Oh, sure … you polled everyone in the club and, as their spokesperson, you’re requesting the song.

5. EVERYBODY WILL DANCE IF YOU PLAY IT!
The DJ won’t. I guess that blows a hole in that theory!

6. I CAN GET SOME IF YOU PLAY IT!
Why settle for one night? Buy the album and get laid for a whole month!

7. I WANT TO HEAR IT NEXT!
The ONLY people who can get away with that statement write the DJ’s paycheck!

8. WHAT DO YOU HAVE?
It’s a lot easier for you to go have another beer and figure out what you want to hear than it is for the DJ to recite the name of every record in the booth!

9. HEY, MAN, NOBODY CAN DANCE TO THIS!
It’s NOT advisable to say this when the dance floor is packed (but some people do anyway) ! HOWEVER, even if there is only ONE person on the floor, it STILL contradicts the statement!

10. PLAY IT SOON, BECAUSE WE’RE LEAVING!
If your gonna leave after he plays it, why shouldn’t he wait till the very last song so you stay all night!

11. Can you play track ..7 off of so-and-so’s CD?
HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

12. You didn’t play my song tonight!
I don’t know who you are, and what your song is….I’M NOT A MIND READER!!

13. Can you play some (insert artist name here)?
Be more specific. Nine times out of 10, they have more than 1 hit record!

14. What are you about to play next?
None of your business. Go to the dance floor and find out!

15. No you didn’t! (After politely telling the person you JUST played the record they requested)
Dj’s aren’t stupid, and arguing with a patron over a record you just played is not in our job description.

16. Well, play it again! (see ..15)
This one might get ya thrown out the booth, and maybe the club too!

17. Can I get on the mic?
HELL NO!!!!

18. Can you play…? (AFTER the music is shut off, lights are up, and people are leaving the club.)
You can’t be serious!!!!

19. Can you hold me & my girls’ coats?
Excuse me miss……coat check is at the door!

20. How much do you get paid doing this?
To each his own on this one, but me personally, it’s nobody’s business except mine & whoever is paying me. Other than that, what difference does it make to you how much I get paid (unless you’re contributing to my paycheck!)?

21. I’ve never heard this song on the radio.
Nine times out of ten, you haven’t, and may or may not for a while. That’s what DJ’s are for! I too used to get pissed off hearing the same 5, 10 songs over and over everyday all day, knowing there’s hundreds of hot records & new artists getting no airplay. I had to make a difference in my city. Yeah, I get funny looks sometimes when I drop a record nobody’s heard (I was the FIRST one in my city to play A LOT of records, and it wouldn’t be until 3 months later our radio station would start playing it.), but hell it’s my job….and SOMEBODY’S GOTTA DO IT! Might as well be me!

Didn’t mean to get all preachy on ..21, but I got caught up in the moment…..y’all understand!

IN OTHER WORDS NO REQUESTS!!!!!!

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